all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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