I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
whose ass print is on the piano?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
