Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
