so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
