your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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