I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
