Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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