I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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