"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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