She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
