just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
