Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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