i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
