I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize