i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My life is pants optional.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
