she looked like the before picture.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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