Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
