Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
