There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
