no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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