would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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