Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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