eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have feelings that need drinking.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
