At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
