I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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