So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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