Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
