so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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