Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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