the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
