but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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