We're facebook friends in real life
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
