Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
