don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
