So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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