you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
