youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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