you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
