we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
