I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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