pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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