he wants to bone in the snuggie
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
