Even water is tasting like jack daniels
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize