I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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