I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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