I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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