Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize