Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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