The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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