you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
