I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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