Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
