I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
