i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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