Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize