she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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