ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I am available for nakedness
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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