he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I understand Curling. That high.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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