hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
