take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
