Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize