she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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