I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
