is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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