I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
