I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
