Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
