And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
