I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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