I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize