he shaved USA in his pubs
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
