Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
